Those who demand the least emotional attention may need it most. Everyone in a family (especially young children) needs the emotional reassurance of loving words, gestures, and looks. You can’t assume that your grandmother needs the same signs of love as your three-year-old or that either one will have the same needs next year. Discover what each person’s unique needs are.Apologizing proves you can forgive yourself and makes it easier to forgive others. You can demonstrate that no one is perfect, but everyone can learn at any age. Saying you’re sorry when you hurt someone you love, models humility and emotional integrity. Acknowledge your errors to everyone, including younger family members.Your values will be communicated by your actions, no matter what you say. Make a lasting impression through actions.Let them know their own strengths and allow them to ask you for what they need.
Caring for your family doesn’t mean taking charge of their problems, giving unsolicited advice, or protecting them from their own emotions. Don’t try to solve problems for your loved ones.Loving words coming through clenched teeth don’t feel loving-they feel confusing. We have to listen to our tone of voice and look at ourselves in pictures and in the mirror to assess our emotional congruency. More than our words, tone of voice, posture (body language), and facial expressions convey our feelings.
The very young and old are especially sensitive to nonverbal cues. Take responsibility for what you communicate silently.This is why selflessness carried to extremes is of little benefits to others. If we don’t give, we find it hard to receive, and if we can’t receive, we don’t really have much to give. Giving and receiving are parts of the same loving continuum. Teach generosity by receiving as well as giving.Model behavior that respects and encourages the feelings and rights of others yet make it clear that we have a choice about what to do with what we feel. Manage your moods by letting all feelings be OK, but not all behaviors. The answer to “Why won’t they listen to me?” may be simply “You’re not listening to them.” Lack of communication is the loudest complaint in most families. Perhaps you and your family can seek out ways to exercise together. The more demanding of your time your family is, the more you need to fit in exercise. Take care of your health if you hope to take care of anyone else.The following ten tips will lead you closer to your family and emotional intelligence.ġ0 high-EQ tips for improving family relationships When you do, the suggestions offered below are transformed from familiar reasonable advice, to highly effective methods for bringing your family ever closer. If you want your family members to know and accept each other lovingly, you have to begin with your own emotional honesty and openness. Without this emotional intimacy, family contact becomes a burden, because no one is comfortable spending that much time with a stranger. Most of the techniques for improving family relationships are therefore centered on communicating your feelings to those you care about, as close relationships are centered around feeling. When you know how you feel, you can’t be manipulated by other’s emotions nor can you blame family conflict on everyone else.
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Active awareness and empathy-the ability to be aware, accepting, and permanently attuned to ourselves and others-tells us how to respond to one another’s needs.ĮQ is incredibly powerful in the family because it puts you in control of your relationships with parents and children, siblings, in-laws and extended family. And this is why emotional intelligence (EQ) succeeds where other efforts at family harmony fail. Those we should know and be known by best, end up feeling like adversaries or strangers.įamily is where our first and strongest emotional memories are made, and that’s where they keep appearing.
Too often, however, our interactions with family are filled with misunderstanding and resentment, bickering and badgering. The people we’re related to by blood and marriage are expected to be our closest allies, our greatest sources of love and support. Emotional intelligence Improving Family Relationships with Emotional Intelligence Looking to improve your relationships with your family members? Learn how emotional intelligence (EQ) is your most effective tool for overcoming rifts and strengthening bonds.
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